RL

I've been interested in the performing arts since I was 6. When I was 6, my parents enrolled me in piano classes, which, like all children, I had hesitations at first. But I grew to love music, and then eventually the performing arts. When I was 7, my parents enrolled me in an acting class for kids, which I attended all the way until I was 9. The same year, I was also asked to perform for the music academy's recital, which was presented to all the parents of the students enrolled there. My first time in a stage production came years later - and it wasn't as a performer, but as a stagehand in my Year 7 school play.

 

In Year 8, after moving to a new school, I worked in the props & design team for my school's annual honours' day musical. In Year 9, I auditioned for the honours' day musical and was cast as one of the lead characters. For Year 10, I took a break from major stage plays to focus on my coursework and exams, as the marks would count towards my college entrance assessment.

 

After completing my IB MYP eAssessment in Year 11, I took to the stage one last time in secondary school, where I performed in the choir at my last honours' day musical and school Graduation. Throughout my years in secondary school, I participated in multiple internal, interschool and intercampus vocal competitions and talent shows. I also performed for Chinese New Year and Christmas in Year 10 and Year 11, both as part of a group and solo performances.

 

Throughout secondary school, YouTube was a great way for me to share my performances and generate an income to save up for my future endeavours. I had been posting song covers on YouTube since Year 7, when I spent a year studying at Melaka International School to support my widowed grandfather and mother. Some of my peers, inspired by my courage to set up a YouTube channel, suggested we create one as a group. In 2013, Bananana13 was born. However, it was short-lived. Three members of our five-member team had to move house, and therefore they also had to move schools. Thus, I asked the remaining member if he would like to continue the channel. He mentioned that he would be more comfortable working behind the scenes. He assisted me in editing until he flew overseas for further studies in 2019. 

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Branching out from just music content, I first started vlogging on YouTube when I was in Year 10 in 2016, and gained a small fanbase from my peers across multiple campuses of my secondary school. My peers were pretty supportive, but being a teenager also meant that there would be some level of immaturity in our banter. They translated this to my content's comments section. I, however, replied in the most diplomatic yet relatable way possible, and it is a standard that I still uphold until today, regardless of whether I am working on my own content or working on content for other persons or organisations.

 

After obtaining my IB Middle Years Programme Certificate in 2017, I attended Sunway College @ Bandar Sunway, where I studied in their CIMP (Canadian International Matriculation Program) course, and obtained the Ontario Secondary School Diploma in 2018.

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In college, I joined the CIMP Choir and performed many times as a group, at course weekly announcement assemblies, course-level events, and internal talent shows. As someone who is a spiritual person and a practising Buddhist, I decided to join Sunway University Buddhist Society when they started recruiting team members for a musical production happening later in the year. It ended up being my first directing role, as the Assistant Director and the main scriptwriter of Sunway University Buddhist Society's first-ever stage theatrical production, "A Night of Musical Drama: Shoshin", which was a great success, and the funds raised were for the purpose of supporting children with autism spectrum disorder. Various people, including respected Venerable Sangha members, Buddhist Music Groups and the CEO of the Sunway Education Group, graced and attended the event.​

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In October 2018, I started studying Engineering at Monash University Malaysia. Earlier that year, I had my college counsellor inform me that I needed to get formally assessed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) with a psychiatrist, as it was very clear my symptoms were interfering with my academic results. After consulting with a couple of her colleagues, including a psychiatrist, other psychologists, and counsellors, she requested to review my secondary school report cards. After careful evaluation and consulting a psychiatrist colleague, she mentioned that while I did well with applied skills and critical thinking, I would definitely need medications to correct this, unfortunately, hereditary neurodevelopmental disability that, to date, still has no cure.

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In the meantime, I had also started noticing a growth trend in the consumption and demand for short-form content on social media, so I decided to start posting TikToks as well. 

 

In terms of my ADHD, at that time, since I was still below the age of 18, I needed parental consent to seek medical treatment. At that time, there was no good understanding of mental health amongst the younger generation, let alone the older generations. I instead had to save up to see a psychiatrist and to get assessed psychometrically for ADHD, of which the second one, at that time, required costly tests beyond the ASRS, for example, the T.O.V.A test. She also suggested I should get assessed for autism, but I could start by doing the RAADS-R online for free. I scored within the average range of males diagnosed with autism. However, I also found out it was rather costly to get assessed professionally, and given that there was no medication-based treatment that a psychiatrist could give for my autistic traits and symptoms, and that he would refer me to a counsellor anyway, it would be wiser to manage the symptoms with my counsellor instead. It was not a good idea. I failed my entire first semester's final exams, despite doing very well for the internal continuous assessment.

 

Right after my 18th birthday in late 2019, I found a psychiatrist with good reviews that I could afford and made an appointment. The next available slot was in March 2020, which wasn't surprising given the many good reviews. However, my appointment was unfortunately scheduled after the unprecedented, sudden lockdown that occurred due to the 2020-2023 global pandemic. I had to keep postponing the T.O.V.A. test, which required in-person administration, until I received a notification that I would receive a full refund for the deposit I had paid for the test and appointment due to operational cost issues on their end, resulting in them having to make the difficult decision to close their doors permanently. Later that year, I found out I was adopted and eventually came to know my biological parents had consumed nicotine and alcohol during my prenatal stage, which are unfortunately also risk factors for the development of ADHD, as well as autism spectrum disorder.

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There was a period in my life where many external stressors beyond my control impacted me negatively, which I would never wish upon anyone. As a result, though, I have become much more resilient, empathetic, tolerant, adaptable and attentive to detail.

 

At the end of 2021, I secured an appointment with another psychiatrist. That was the start of a nightmare. I was misdiagnosed with a mood disorder after the psychiatrist spoke to me and my father for less than 30 minutes. I was also misprescribed iatrogenic medications that led to physical health issues at first, confirmed with past health tests and medical tests from that time. I had just made the tough decision to transfer to my current course, the Bachelor of Arts and Social Sciences, which would commence in 2022. I decided to major in psychology, pairing it with a minor in gender studies, primarily because my aspiration in engineering was to become a mechatronics and robotics engineer, developing medical robotic tools and other allied healthcare tools that are affordable and accessible. I have strong core values of compassion and empathy as well as a passion for giving back to the community. I also decided to pursue a second major in communication, which will support my career in social media content creation, as well as my freelance, organisational, and temple committee media, IT, and design work.

 

My next psychiatrist followed suit and even increased the dosage of medications, which in turn exacerbated my autism traits, causing my AuDHD (Autism with co-occurring ADHD) to present as a personality disorder with ADHD instead. In March 2024, I started seeing a new psychiatrist on my own accord. However, he mentioned that there would be some short-term issues with my organs, as the past medications had severely damaged me, physically and mentally.

 

In May 2024, I had an asthma attack and did not have my inhaler with me. I ended up having an anxiety attack combined with an autistic meltdown due to that, and eventually, I voluntarily admitted myself to inpatient mental health care for a few months. However, the psychiatrist I had been seeing in inpatient care did not have a good case formulation method, as I had also unknowingly masked myself for the past few years, primarily due to the iatrogenic medications, thus leading him to misdiagnose me with a personality disorder with co-occurring ADHD, and leading him to misprescribe me more iatrogenic medications. After I had discharged myself in October 2024, I noticed that each time the dosage was lowered or the medications were paused, my symptoms actually improved. When my former psychiatrist decided to discontinue one of the iatrogenic medications in April 2025, which had a long list of side effects, and I somehow checked every box, then things improved for the better. I then decided to seek a second and third opinion, making appointments to do so, where I received the conclusion that almost all previous psychiatrists I had seen had misdiagnosed me with conditions I never had to begin with, and misprescribed me medications for them, thus causing moderate to severe physical health and mental health side effects at that time. When I was no longer taking them, all negative associated symptoms and traits were medically observed to have disappeared entirely, and none of those negative associated symptoms and traits had ever been spotted before I was misdiagnosed and misprescribed with iatrogenic medications.

 

From 25th November 2021 to 3rd August 2025, I was on multiple psychiatric medications that have now been advised as causing iatrogenic physical and mental health issues to me by my current psychiatrist and general practitioner, which have now been resolved, after I sought a second and third opinion from two senior psychiatrists, who both ruled out any mood and personality disorders and that led to my current diagnosis of ADHD, while I am undergoing further assessment to determine the severity of my autism spectrum disorder, having been declared as fit for work and studies not just by him, but also by all psychiatrists before him, alebit requirng a bit of extra support about flexibility in timing and scheduling. For any employers and organisations who have further questions, you may directly contact him via the official contact methods on  his medical centre's website. Please note that neither he nor the medical centre endorses, publishes or validates any content on this website and is not related to this website.

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Currently, I am back to creating content, mostly short-form content on Instagram Reels, Instagram Stories and TikTok. I am also actively working on my next music project, which will feature cover songs, as well as snippets and single releases of original music, all of which will be coming soon.

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As I near the end of my undergraduate studies, I hope I can express myself through the performing arts and photography as well, all in line with the Dhamma and Right Livelihood of the Buddhist noble eightfold path, and I hope to further my education with postgraduate studies in a field related to psychology and mental health. 

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19.09.2025 Rain Lee Lin Jun | Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

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Photo (below): by Rain Lee, 2018. Taken on Canon EOS 1300D with Auto mode, as it was taken in a library.